I was just reading a post about the daughter of a feminist and it got me thinking about more modern feminist rhetoric. One of the things that sticks out most in my mind is when some people say stuff like "Becoming a stay at home mother is like throwing away your education". For some reason when someone chooses to insult my choice, that is the argument that makes me the angriest. I know some women work because they want to, some because they need to. They make their choice to add children to the mix. Hmm, this isn't flowing the way I had hoped, but the end point was, how does your education(formal/informal/college/trade school/whatever) help you as a parent? not in your job, but you as you parent throughout the day?
Here I'll share, and then it's your turn.
I studied a bunch of stuff, but ended up majoring in linguistics. I use that EVERY day to help my children be proficient bilinguals. I see when they make certain steps in their linguistic development, and I know when to be concerned or when not to be. I'd say I'm making good use of that part of my education.
Need more?
Physics classes - is the object just thrown going to hit someone or not? Does Edamame have enough momentum to hurt someone?
Chemistry - will dinner likely taste good? entertaining the boys with vinegar and baking soda, or remembering not to put lemon juice in with the baking soda when I'm making cake.
Geometry - Can I rearrange the furniture like that? uhm...no.
music, art, history, etc...you get the idea...now please share. You don't have to be a parent yet either, just share your ideas.
4 comments:
I agree that that arguement is one of the stupidest reasons for not staying at home. First of all, how many people graduate from college and then get jobs that aren't exactly in the field they studied anyway? Most jobs require a lot of training which means you really could do it without having gone to college, so long as you were motivated enough to learn (which I think is what a degree proves to your future employers).
So, for me, I did a lot of work in science (lots of biology), English, and education. Obviously, the education and child development stuff is directly useful (and the education classes taught me a lot of what I DON'T want to do with my kids, LOL!)
English--increased my love of books and writing which I share with my kids every day when I read with them. And as they get older, and I help them write and learn about life, we can discuss great literature and the examples of writing that I've learned about.
Biology--its really cool to know something about what is going on in your body, when you're pregnant, breastfeeding, sick, running, whatever. And to be able to tell your kids what happens to your food when you eat it, or how their muscles work. And to know that you can do experiments and think like a scientist all the time which makes it easy to learn at home.
And my last point is that getting my degree just taught me a lot about life, making friends, working with people, learning to find my passions (which weren't always in class), and when I finally finished there and realized that I couldn't just stop learning, I really learned how to keep educating myself for the rest of my life. Whether I'm a stay at home mom or working at McDonald's or whatever, my degree helped make me the person that I am, so its never "wasted". People who think that way must think its a waste to read a good book just because you wanted to, even if you won't be tested on it in the end. Or its a waste to write down your thoughts on a subject if it won't be published and help you make money (and all us bloggers know how fun it is to write down your thoughts!)
OK, this is a long enough comment :) Hope to hear more people's views on this!
I believe my college education as an elementary education major helps me *be more patient with Clara *I know what kinds of songs, books, and activities are appropriate for her age * I know what I can do to get her ready for reading and other subjects *playgroups aren't as stressful to plan ..... I could go on and on and write a novel, probably.
I got my Master's in Social Work. I wish i could say I use it ALL the time with my own kids. I don't. It is hard to be objective like I need to be. BUT I do use it ALL the time with friends. Hmm... maybe I need to be my own friend.
The most important thing to me about getting an education was to show my children how important it is to get an education. I LOVE learning. I miss being in school, at least aspects of it. Maybe I went to school for selfish reasons. But I think that is ok too. (kinda ironic becoming a social worker for selfish reasons)
another point to make is, we have no idea what is going to happen. I have something to fall back on if needed. I also have something to go back to when my children have grown.
To start off with, I haven't really heard that sentiment actually expressed. By this I mean, I have never personally talked with someone who believed that staying at home with children was a waste of education. But were I to encounter that arguement, here are my thoughts.
At the risk of repeating the comments above, I would say that education is never wasted as long as it is used and I firmly believe that it is used in raising children. Those people I know who have kids often lament the lack of adult conversation in their lives, but they don't seem to regret having gone to college (or completed whatever level of education they did). It seems like there is always some use for something they did or learned, if nothing else for the sense of accomplishment and corresponding sense of confidence in one's own abilities.
In general I think that it is in society's benefit to have educated mothers because if they are able to teach even a small part of what they know to their children, it is more probable that those children will become productive members of society.
As Kim said, in the process of getting an education, especially with higher education you will learn a lot about yourself. You will also most likely develop a certain amount of personal discipline and gain a greater ability to analyze information.
A mother who has these characteristics is more likely to be able to teach them to her children both directly and indirectly through her example.
From societal level, a mother at home would be the first (and cheapest) line of defense. If the mother is committed to that job, the more educated she is, the more complete that defense is apt to be. A mother at home is more likely to be more available for her children (rather than needing extended school hours), has more control over what happens at home (rather than having a child go to school hungry or with no lunch because she was already at work), and would have a better chance of responding to problems as they occur (rather than simply trying to deal with the aftermath because she had no opportunity to even notice something was wrong). As I said, these things are simply "more likely," not at all guaranteed, but I'd rather try to hedge my bets when it comes to society's future adults.
And this is from someone who doesn't even have children. Maybe my stay at home mom did a good job of raising me :)
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